How the heck does one promote two books at the same time without appearing to show favouritism?

How the heck does one promote two books at the same time without appearing to show favouritism?

The only answer is to split into two equal halves and give a book to each of them…

THE LUNAR TICKLE for the ME on the left (my right)
CAPTAINS STUPENDOUS for the ME on the right (not politically)


OK rain, you’ve made your point…

OK rain, you’ve made your point…
You are sky water. You fall out of big dark fluffy sky sheep called clouds. You give the plants a drink. You make overlapping concentric circles on puddles and ponds like a geometry lecturer explaining venn diagrams. You trickle down the back of my neck like the opposite of erotic fingertips. I understand you and your game. You can stop now. There is nothing more to teach me…


My so-called ‘smartphone’ broke again…

My so-called ‘smartphone’ broke again last night, just because it got a few drops of rain on it when I took the photos of the moon peeping through the clouds. What a pathetic piece of technology! When I bought it, people said to me, “Congratulations! You have finally moved into the 21st Century! It’s like a miniature portable computer” and they were right, it is like that — like a crappy miniature portable computer that’s a feeble sad wimp and a backstabbing traitor into the bargain!


I have cut down hugely on buying books

I have cut down hugely on buying books — supposedly — but couldn’t resist these in a charity shop on the way home just now. A great selection by Goethe, Beckford, Melville, RLS, DH Lawrence, Conrad, Tolstoy, Edgeworth, Chekhov, Mann, Gaskell, Camus, Colette, etc…


Too tired today to do any hiking

Too tired today to do any hiking. I will go for a long walk this evening instead. So I will be starting work on my 741st story this afternoon, which is probably going to be called something like ‘Gathering the Genial Genies’ and will be about a man who collects genies. It will only be a few pages long and will be written with the aid of regular coffee and some chocolate.


Camped by a river

Camped by a river in a forest and got up to watch the sunrise.


A small group of nuns gathered on the convent

A small group of nuns gathered on the convent lawn facing my window and praying at me. All because I shouted at one of them last week that I would thermite bomb their store of power tools! Now they are counterstriking with ostentatious piety. These nuns are real Harridans of Christ… Vows of celibacy should come with a health warning. It’s an unnatural condition, in total opposition to the function for which we evolved over millions of years, and it creates insanity.


A variation on a waldorf salad for my dinner

A variation on a waldorf salad for my dinner…
i think i am going to turn into one of those people who post photographs of what they eat…

waldorf salad


my darbuka arrived

my darbuka arrived in the mail for me this morning.
my neighbours — the nuns who use power tools — will be pleased…